Lynn: There is the part of me that knows I should not be so afraid of losing my other two after what happened. Yet, I am terrified every time they go to sleep that I may end up finding them the same way. Every time I walk into the bedroom where she slept, or the other room where I tried to resuscitate an empty frame, I relive the horror and I feel sick to my stomach.
We have bought monitors and done a sleep test for our other two and still I go in to make sure the monitor isn't lying...
I have had people tell me that I am so strong, it feels like the exact opposite of how broken I am inside. I've started saying, "You find out there's not much choice but to keep going."
Others have said we must be amazing people to have had such an angel in our home. A part of me feels like we must have screwed up because she couldn't stay...
I am trying to remind myself that we can never understand all of God's reasons, how he must have so much good to come of this, to make it worth it. It doesn't change how I hurt, it just helps me hold on to the hope of seeing her again some day. I feel an inkling of how God must have ached, LETTING His Son suffer and die, for all of us to live again and be forgiven.
We have bought monitors and done a sleep test for our other two and still I go in to make sure the monitor isn't lying...
I have had people tell me that I am so strong, it feels like the exact opposite of how broken I am inside. I've started saying, "You find out there's not much choice but to keep going."
Others have said we must be amazing people to have had such an angel in our home. A part of me feels like we must have screwed up because she couldn't stay...
I am trying to remind myself that we can never understand all of God's reasons, how he must have so much good to come of this, to make it worth it. It doesn't change how I hurt, it just helps me hold on to the hope of seeing her again some day. I feel an inkling of how God must have ached, LETTING His Son suffer and die, for all of us to live again and be forgiven.
